There will be days when you feel trapped in your cage of grief, and every stinkin’ emotion is there with you, like a gang of degenerate hoodlums, just waiting to mess up your face, topple your day, threaten your future. These guys are smokin’, they’re missing teeth, breathing their rancid breathe in your face, and they aren’t going anywhere fast.
Just ride it out. Ride. it. out. Feel the waves of nausea and panic. Lay down on the cold cell floor and play possum. Or scream. Go ahead, bang those fists ’til they are bloody, ‘cuz no one is going to post bail. That’s right. Accept it.
No one can rescue you from grief. It’s yours. Your own. But some days, it owns you. And there’s no way around it, under it, or over it. You just have to get through it. Sit, cry, scream, through the shit-storm.
I know it’s a healing process. I know I will have better days! I’ve already had them.
But today, I’m back in the slammer, and I don’t know why I am here. All I did was try to have fun, live life, get back to normal. Is that a crime?
Some days are just like that; there’s no reason you can think of but it happens. Just hang on and wait to feel better; I think that’s all you can do. Oh, and eat ice cream (that helps me) 🙂
Oh crap. I’m sorry.
I’ve been feeling a little better, too, which just raises feelings of dread as I await the next bout.
This is like living with a monster, a monster who stalks you, and pounces when you look good.
You know that this is all part of healing. Small solace, I know.
Ugh this is so it. Thank you for being willing to share.