A better view

I love flying. Even in this day of unglamorous, snack-less, dirty-plane and screaming-passenger travel, I still love going to airports, watching planes take off and land, the rush and pressure of physical forces on the body during a take-off. A window seat is a must for me, I would rather be squeezed in a corner than miss the view.

I wanted to be a pilot for a while, took lessons, flew solo in a small Cessna plane, also parachuted for my 30th birthday. A breathless and exhilarating celebration of my life, and love of the skies. I am my father’s daughter. He, long before me, loved flying, and had an amazing life-long career in aeronautics that brought him and my mom to this country over 40 years ago. What an adventurous spirit he was.

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a soft storm…

photo 1A storm is coming. No, really. They are predicting the first “big one” here…using terms like “paralyzing”, “crippling”, and my favorite, “thunder snow”. Thunder snow. That does make me smile.

I see another storm coming, too. The storm of “firsts”. The initial wave already hit – my birthday – and it was crippling. It really knocked me down, and I wasn’t expecting it. But I am happy to report, that I am back up, hobbling around. For the moment. So I thought I’d take this opportunity to post something “softer” than my last rant. I actually wrote this before my birthday, before I realized just how hard some of these upcoming anniversaries would be.

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There is freedom in discipline.

IMG_1872The first snow fell today, well “official” snow, one worth mentioning. And I’m one of those kids…if they say it is going to snow during the night, I wake up every couple of hours to peek out and make sure it has started falling. Not only is it in my nature, it’s in my blood (I am part Swiss). I love snow.

So out we went, the dog and me, for our morning walk. And she kept pulling on the leash, spurting this way and that, she was excited too. I really wanted to let her go, to run free and be crazy. Because if there’s one thing about walking an excited dog on a snowy sidewalk…it’s called “dangerous”. The dog pulls, you slip, and you are on your ass. A broken ass is not a laughing matter. Not when there’s shoveling to do.

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Hope. A glimmer.

There might be quite a few Joan Didion quotes working their way into this blog. After her husband died suddenly from heart failure (whilst their daughter was in the hospital, deathly ill) she wrote “The Year of Magical Thinking”. The title itself is one I can aspire to, as I immediately thought, how about more like, “The Year of Messed-Up Thinking”, but I will get back to the title later. Continue reading