Word.

photo(1)Did you know that Walt Disney recently tried to trademark “Day of the Dead” for one of their upcoming Pixar movies? Seriously! Death might be “black and white”, but the whole trademarking of holidays, commonly used slogans, etc…that’s an ethical gray area for me. I mean, does everything have to be “owned” by a big corporation?! Disney is infamous for raking people over the coals with trademark lawsuits.

I work in advertising, as a designer. I have a great job that allows me to be creative. I understand the importance of protecting creative ideas. But I’ll let you in on a little secret, I’m not a big fan of consumerism and marketing, and I actually hate selling stuff. That’s a big part of what we do in advertising. Of course, it doesn’t always feel that way from the inside. If you watch Mad Men, you know that there is a lot of skill, strategy, and thought that goes into creating a message, and that the “creatives” at an agency live to come up with the right line, the perfect font/photo/and layout combination, a comprehensive piece of communication so meaningful that it lives on beyond the campaign. They – we – are passionate about it. Continue reading

Rebuilding

14558D36B0431A88EE94F9666096_h316_w628_m5_cZjHylszdSometimes it feels like I am completely starting over. From nothing, with nothing.

My rational mind knows this isn’t true, I have a lot to be thankful for, a job, a home, family, friends. But sometimes my loss just filets me! Slices and dices me into pieces that I just don’t even know how to start putting back together. Continue reading

When the monkey is away….

I have written many posts about grief that don’t get posted. The same words tend to pop up, about drowning, battling, fighting, then relinquishing control….

It’s not easy to experience grief (understatement of the year), but the metaphors of the experience seem to come with ease. And while writing about it and getting it off my chest is part of healing, even to me, the story gets old.

New experiences…putting myself out there, trying different things, meeting new people, that too will give me something to write about, or, at least experience. Grief won’t be going away anytime soon. But my life, well, I’m all too aware of how finite it is.

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Our house.

DSC01704There’s a strange phenomenon taking place in my house. It’s not a huge place. We always thought it was the perfect size, for two, and possibly a third. But I just realized, as I went upstairs to my office, that I hadn’t been up there in days. Maybe even weeks. It almost felt like I was walking into a stranger’s office…a half empty mug of coffee, dried up and hardened on the table, papers here and there, a poster had started curling off the wall. It looked abandoned. Un-lived in. Un-loved. It would seem that I’m only living in half of the house.

And then there’s the matter of the old calendar, stuck and spooling in the month of December. I can’t bring myself to take it down. While I know I should be kind and patient with myself, I can’t help but wonder about me, and my life, circling around in the twilight zone of last year. In this house, where rooms are half empty, half clean, a mess of his stuff and mine, some things have been moved, to accommodate some semblance of future as a single dweller, and some things, like the little bowl with two pills (one of the last things my husband touched) are practically cemented in place. Relics of another time.

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a soft storm…

photo 1A storm is coming. No, really. They are predicting the first “big one” here…using terms like “paralyzing”, “crippling”, and my favorite, “thunder snow”. Thunder snow. That does make me smile.

I see another storm coming, too. The storm of “firsts”. The initial wave already hit – my birthday – and it was crippling. It really knocked me down, and I wasn’t expecting it. But I am happy to report, that I am back up, hobbling around. For the moment. So I thought I’d take this opportunity to post something “softer” than my last rant. I actually wrote this before my birthday, before I realized just how hard some of these upcoming anniversaries would be.

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